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How to Help Your Child Be Social Media Literate

In the digital age, our children's online environment is ever-changing, and as an expert in this field, I often find myself navigating uncharted waters. It is my job to be informed, yet there are moments when a student's question catches me off guard. It's a humbling reminder that the digital landscape is vast and ever-evolving. If I'm struggling to keep up, how are our children managing without our guidance?


The Reality of Digital Literacy

You might think, "My child was born into a digital world; surely, they know more than I do." It's a common assumption, but understanding the latest TikTok dance or trend online doesn't equate to being digitally literate. Social media literacy goes beyond surface-level knowledge—it's about critical thinking, safety, privacy, and ethics online. It has also gotten trickier as AI use becomes increasingly prevalent, and understanding altered pictures and voices is difficult for even the best-trained eye and ear. 


Essential Skills for Social Media Literacy

The Health Advisory on Social Media and Adolescence underscores the importance of training before engaging with social media. Unfortunately, this is often overlooked, as children sign up for social media without their parents' knowledge or consent. Suddenly, they are overwhelmed by a digital sphere where the next image or video might be something they never expected. This means we need to get ahead of the game and teach them how to navigate this landscape. Schools are ramping up their digital citizenship and literacy programs, but they need the help of parents as well. You should ask yourself the following questions:

  • Critical Evaluation: Can your child discern between credible content and misleading information?

  • Content Creation: Are they sharing safely and responsibly? Do they understand how they might be crossing boundaries with a joke or a meme? 

  • Self-Reflection: Do they understand the impact of their online actions? Many people post the most risqué things in disappearing messages or on private servers because they already understand that what they are posting could have a negative impact on their digital footprint and their future. They need to understand that these actions are not just damaging for their own future, but for others as well.

  • Digital Citizenship: Are they respectful and kind online? I was just added to an alumni group on Instagram. I was sad to see that the adults in this group are neither kind nor respectful. So remind yourself that digital citizenship starts with you. Are you setting the example here? Do you keep your online communication kind and respectful even when you are angry? Are you discussing examples of online behavior, both positive and negative, with your children?

These are not built-in skills that come with simply knowing how to use the internet. To truly navigate it, digital citizenship must be learned and practiced. Just saying “be kind online” or “practice online safety” is not enough. It is nearly impossible not to make a mistake, so let's learn how to teach them what to do when things go wrong. 

Navigating Online Challenges Together

Let's dive into the areas where tweens and teens might be struggling, and consider how we can guide them:

Cyberbullying and Digital Citizenship: While kids might recognize subtle forms of bullying, they're often at a loss when it comes to responding. This is where our role is crucial. We need to equip them with strategies to handle online negativity and toxicity effectively. One of the most important things they lack is the ability to adequately communicate their feelings online. This also encompasses when to stay silent, and when and how to effectively help someone who is experiencing online toxicity. Sometimes, a simple “are you okay?” is enough to get the conversation going. 

Understanding Privacy: The concept of privacy is nebulous in the digital realm. Many young users believe in the illusion of online privacy without truly understanding the complexity of their digital footprints. They believe their private Discord Servers and WhatsApp group chats are untraceable. Some of their confusion comes from our choice of words. “Privacy” settings do not make everything truly private. Clear and open discussions about privacy settings and their limitations are necessary. This is also a good time to talk about how screenshots and screen recording, or even taking a picture of another phone screen’s content, can make sure that what they say or do in “private” online spaces follows them for a long time.

Finding Media Balance: Many students readily admit to struggling with media balance, and are actively searching for solutions. One of the best ways to help them with this is to set clear boundaries and lead by example. If you practice healthy media balance education by talking about your own strategies and struggles is often, they will feel more comfortable sharing theirs with you.  

Deciphering Advertisements and Data Use: Many young users are unaware of how their data is used for marketing purposes. They also lack understanding of how their favorite social media appst earn money off of their users. Engage in conversations about the market strategy of social media platforms, the intentions behind targeted advertisements, and the attention economy.

Critical News Consumption: Ask a teen where they get their news, and you might be surprised to hear their answer is Instagram or TikTok. This isn’t outright bad, but it is important to encourage critical thinking about where and how your child consumes news. Share and discuss various news sources together, emphasizing the importance of fact-checking and looking beyond the headlines that grab attention and get likes.

Phishing, Spam, and Scams: While many teens can spot spam, they might not know how to react to phishing attempts or other online scams, and many will not report their errors in this realm for fear of punishment. One area where open dialogue is needed is about sextortion, romance scams, and revenge porn content. Having open conversations about these threats can demystify them and prepare your child to act confidently if they encounter them.


What can you do to help your child learn these skills?

As adults, it is okay to acknowledge that we don't have all the answers. It is crucial to let our children know they can come to us with their online concerns. Approach these conversations without judgment or panic to foster openness and honesty.

The Youth Social Media Literacy Inventory: A Tool for Reflection

Consider using the Youth Social Media Literacy Inventory as a conversation starter. This test isn't about scoring but about understanding and sparking dialogue. It was created as part of a comprehensive study from the Vrije Universiteit Amsterdam and Cornell University. I  have put a link to the test here, but you can also find the questions below. The correct answers are in bold. It is a great conversation starter and a way to dive into this content with your child. 

In conclusion

Moving forward, working with schools and policymakers is crucial. We must guide our children and help them develop social media literacy. Students readily open up when talking about their online world with me. I believe one of the biggest tricks I use in our sessions is being non-judgmental in my conversations with them. They often leave feeling that a weight has been lifted off of their shoulders, or that they’ve had “a therapy session.” If I could inspire one thing from this blog post, it would be that you sit down and talk to your child more often than not about their online lives, judgment-free. 

The Youth Social Media Literacy Inventory

Advertising

(1) How might a company use the information about people that it collects?

  • To decide which types of products it should make.

  • To decide where to open a new store.

  • To decide how much to charge for their products.

  • All of the above. 

  • I don’t know.

(2) Dereck was looking for a new backpack with his mom online yesterday. Today, he saw an ad for the backpack he liked on his social media timeline. What could Dereck do to prevent this ad from targeting him?

  • Look up different types of backpacks online.

  • Turn off the cookies in his web browser.

  • Like the ad.

  • Turn off his phone. 

  • I don’t know.

(3) What is a “sponsored” post on a social media site?

  • It is a post that is extra interesting. 

  • It is a post that has a lot of likes.

  • It is a post that is paid for by a company.

  • It is a post from a very popular user.

  • I don’t know.

Cyberbullying

(4) TJ posted a video of himself on Instagram playing basketball. When he checked his post the next day, many comments were mean. They made fun of what he was wearing and how he was shooting the ball. As TJ's friend, why is it important to be an upstander or ally?

  • You don't want TJ to think you wrote the messages.

  • Showing empathy might help TJ not to be discouraged by others.

  • If you do something nice for TJ, he will have to do something nice for you in the future.

  • You can brag about being a good person.

  • I don’t know.

(5) Your classmates have started the “Don’t talk to Phoebe” Facebook group because they don’t like how Phoebe dresses and they don’t want to be friends with her. Somebody sent you an invitation to this group. What should you do?

  • Join in the group because you don’t want to be friends with Phoebe either.

  • Send the invitation to all of your other friends. The more the better!

  • Start a better group called “Don’t talk to Brody,” who started the “Don’t talk to Phoebe” group.

  • Send Phoebe a kind message like “Are you ok?” or “Is there anything I can do?”

  • I don’t know.

(6) One way to stand up to cyberbullying is by reporting it to the website (for example, Instagram). Most websites have a “flag” button that you can use to report. Is this true or false?

  • True

  • False

  • I don’t know

Privacy and Digital Footprint

(7) Gina and her friends say mean things about their teachers and parents on social media sites that the adults don’t go on. Which sentence is true?

  • Gina’s friend could take a picture of what they said and show it to someone else.

  • What Gina said is private and just between her and her friends.

  • It doesn’t matter what Gina says because the things you say on online go away after a while.

  • This is not a part of Gina’s digital footprint because her teachers and parents are not on the social media site.

  • I don’t know.

(8) Chloe is posting some pictures from the school’s dance on her social media account. In one photo, her friend Jordan is acting pretty crazy. What should Chloe do?

  • Post the photos and add Jordan’s name.

  • Ask Jordan for permission before sharing the photo.

  • Text the photo to all her friends, but don’t post it online.

  • Edit the photo to make Jordan look more silly.

  • I don’t know.

(9) What can you do to make a positive digital footprint for yourself?

  • Use filters to make your pictures look better.

  • Adjust your privacy settings to control who sees your posts.

  • Only use apps that make pictures and posts disappear.

  • Share as much as you can with your best friends.

  • I don’t know.

News on social media

(10) Some websites post “fake news” because they can make money by doing so. Is this true or false?

  • True

  • False

  • I don’t know

(11) Marquis wants to learn more about the safety problems at an amusement park near his home. Which of the following news stories should he click on and read?

  • “Fire Chief Has Roller Coaster Safety Concerns.”

  • “They’re Selling Amusement Park Tickets for Nearly Nothing. When I Saw Why, I Got Chills!”

  • “20 Things You Didn't Know About Roller Coasters!”

  • “Amazing Roller Coaster Designs You Won’t Believe Exist”

  • I don’t know.

(12) Fake news means news stories online that look very real but are really made up. Is this true or false?

  • True

  • False

  • I don’t know

Scams and Phishing on social media

(13) What is an example of an advertisement that seems too good to be true?

  • "New stretch jeans 25% off! Get yours today."

  • "Our softest hoodies are $30 for a limited time only!"

  • "Free iPad if you click this link! No strings attached."

  • "Sign up to be a dog walker at Wag and start making money right away!"

  • I don't know.

(14) What could be a hint that a post on social media is a phishing scam?

  • Positive comments

  • Shortened URLs (web addresses) 

  • Lots of reviews

  • Advertisements for paid products 

  • I don't know

(15) What can scammers do when they steal your private information?

  • Sell your information to other scammers.

  • Pretend to be you online.

  • Create a credit card in your name. 

  • All of the above.

  • I don't know.

Media balance

(16) Jake wants to use social media in a positive and balanced way. Which of the following should he do?

  • Brag about how many “Likes” he gets on his social media posts to his friends.

  • Stop using social media and do something else when he starts feeling anxious.

  • Create a fake account on social media and use it to tease his younger brother.

  • Start using social media the minute he gets back home from school.

  • I don’t know.

(17) Samuel posted a picture on Instagram and keeps checking his phone because he wants to know how many people have “liked” it. Which of the following is true?

  • Samuel is oversharing on social media.

  • Samuel is talking to his friends on social media, so it’s okay that he is checking it a lot.

  • Samuel should watch out for when he starts to feel sad or anxious.

  • Samuel should only be using social media for 1 hour per day.

  • I don’t know.

(18) Brandon shared a post on social media about how he is super upset at his mom for making him do his chores before he was allowed to play soccer. Later that day, he feels regretful that he shared that with all of his social media friends. What did Brandon experience?

  • Social media bias 

  • Oversharing

  • Undersharing

  • Cyberbullying

  • I don’t know


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–Allison Ochs, social pedagogue/worker, author, mother of three, wife

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