Am I a bad Mom?

Am I a bad Mom?

I had a lot of older brother's and sisters, and at one point eight of them were teens. Here I was this little girl in the middle of a group of fun, loud, fighting, sometimes disrespectful teens. At one point things started spinning out of control. My Mom, wise as she is,  got help from a therapist. This is one of the best lessons she gave me...you can be a great Mom and still need help!

We are trained at University or School for our professions, but we are not trained for the task dearest to our hearts, being a mother. Motherhood happens, and we just start doing; doing what we think is right, following our mother's example, reading books, and by trial and error.  Sometimes we feel just awful because things don’t work out the way we ‘think they should.’ 

We stress, worry and put pressures on ourselves.  We tell ourselves we need to be 'perfect' Moms, but why perfect? No one is perfect, and yet we expect it. We also blatantly disregard the fact that kids will have outside influences and be kids regardless of the fact that we might be doing a fantastic job, being the 'perfect Mom' for that child

Someone said to me this week, “People might think I am a bad Mom because…” 

An arrow of pain went straight to my heart, and I asked myself, “Why do we do this to ourselves and each other?” Kids will be kids! They need to fall, fail and make mistakes to learn. 

If you’ve ever wondered, "Am I a bad parent?" You are not alone... I know I do and I make mistakes, and yes, I have some horrible days.

 I think it is high time we stop shaming ourselves and each other and realize we are all just doing our best. We may have different approaches, and regardless of how great, horrible, troubled or difficult our kids might be we love them; we are mothers. 

 

—Allison Ochs Social Worker M.S.W. , Coach, Expat, Mother of three, Wife