Would I have sexted back in the 80's?
When I was in 10th grade, I fell in love with a boy. I saw him smile at me and that was it...I was a goner. I flirted, smiled and did just about anything I could to get his attention. We went on an indoor track trip to Idaho, and I thought I just might have a shot. He was playing with my hair in the car; he met me in the pool...still nothing happened.
The competition for this particular boy was fierce, and I had another girl vying for his love. One day after a stomp (a dance after a game in the gym) he walked over to me, "Can I drive you home?"
Of course, I accepted. He was shy, I was shy, and there we sat, parked in front of my house talking. I could tell I was about to win; he might just kiss me and then out of the blue there was a loud banging at the window of his car. "Yo dude, my sister needs to come in now. Ali, come on it's late." I stammered a "bye" and walked in. I knew that was it. The other girl was his girlfriend by the end of the next week.
Having big brothers was a drag sometimes, but they sure kept me safe. If that boy would have liked me enough he would have dealt with my brothers...it was a fact... I was too hard to get and he didn't want to try.
This morning I was presenting to teens about sexting, porn, relationships, and dating and I thought of that boy. Thank goodness I was never tempted to send him sext...or any sexts for that matter. I don't know how my brothers would have protected online and who knows I might just have been tempted to hit send... I was trying everything to get his attention.
Talking with all of these teens I realize some things haven't changed and never will; the desire for romance, connection, first love and the fear of being embarrassed.
My advice to parents today. Share your stories with your kids, talk to them about how nervous you were when you were first in love, about how you liked someone, and your failures. Sure they will tell you "Times have changed." They are right about that but your conversation is still relevant. Listen to them about their life, answer their questions and just talk.
The internet has given todays teens ease to communicate, but that doesn't mean they are having those real conversations with real people. They are still kids and just fumbling along like we were.
—Allison Ochs Social Worker M.S.W. , Coach, Expat, Mother of three, Wife